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Blog I love you even if...

I love you even if...


My husband shared this with me. He was shocked. I was shocked. I couldn't believe any parents would say those things about their kids.

Then I asked my child if they knew about it and what they thought.

They told me that the kids give their phones to the parent to record a video, and then when they get the phone back THE CHILD ADDS THE CAPTIONS

Once I found this out I felt so sad. So sad that any child would think their parent thinks those things about them.

I tell my child "I love you even if..." all the time.
"I love you even if you are grumpy"
"I love you even if you are later for school"
"I love you even if you have ketchup on your face"

We are programmed to connect love and behaviour. This is genetic. When a baby animal is born, if it doesn't bond with it's mother it will die. We have the same genetic programming - the same need to decide if we are loved more or less based on the treatment of our carers.
If you are a parent you will know that love and behaviour aren't conditional. If you love your child, you love them no matter how they behave and how you behave (if you don't love them, you don't love them no matter how they behave and how you behave!) Love and behaviour aren't connected.

When my child says "you hate me", I say "I love you and I think you are awesome".

I also recorded them a little video and sent them a text. In it I tell them I love them and will always be here. So in their darker moments, they will always have that to watch. 


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